I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
