Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My ass is underappreciated
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
