nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
