Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
