I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
