Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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