Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
