Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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