come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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