So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize