First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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