i just wanna soil my oats bro
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
