I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
