Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
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I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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