Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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