I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
