Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
