His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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