You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
