They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
