My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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