there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
