I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
