Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize