I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
