im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize