And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
