i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
