When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
