They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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