Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
