Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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