people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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