That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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