I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
