the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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