True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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