I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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