So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize