My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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