her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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