I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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