My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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