you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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