I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize