I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
