she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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