I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i will never coherently bang her
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize