I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
