i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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