so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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