so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
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Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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