Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
