I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
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I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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