Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
