Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
