I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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