i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize