my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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