You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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