i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
